Blood Suckers

Is there such a thing as Vamp-aholics Anonymous? I am addicted to vampires. Ok, maybe addicted is the wrong word. I am...enthralled? mystified? in love with? All of the above. I blame this on the Twilight series. And Rob Pattinson. And pop culture's current obsession with the blood-sucking undead. Thanks a lot.

While (im)patiently waiting for the New Moon movie, I started going through what I like to call "vampire withdrawal." I read all the Twilight books and watched the stupid movie a few times (my sister owns it), but I wasn't satisfied. I would just like to point out that I know the movie is horrible, awful, a sad display of cinematic art...but after reading the books, it's just so good. You can't understand unless you're 1.) female, 2.) read the entire series, and 3.) love Edward Cullen (because of reasons 1 and 2).

To ease my frustrations and vamp longing, I considered watching True Blood. Problem is, I don't get HBO and my current cash flow is not generous enough for me to purchase season 1 on DVD. Bummer. Instead, I settled for the book series that True Blood is based on. Let me just tell you, I am obsessed. In one week I flew through the first three books and intend on making a trip to Walmart on my lunch break today to pick up books 4 and 5...and maybe 6, 7, 8 and 9. They are fantastic. FANTASTIC. (FANGTASTIC? Too corny? Sorry, couldn't help myself.) There's mystery, lust, love, comedy, drama, horror and fang-bangers (a.k.a. vampire groupies who go to vampire hangouts for the sole purpose of meeting and screwing vampires. Vampire sex is no joke, people.) I can't get enough of them. And in addition to the freaking awesome vampires, Sookie Stackhouse, the story's main character, is a doll. I love her almost as much as I love the vamps.

Now, I like to consider myself an intelligent, well-educated woman. I am a college graduate. I used to be a news writer. I'm not stupid. However, I understand that my so-called vampire addiction sort of lowers my level of intelligence. But whatever. It's my guiltiest pleasure. So what? Just because I have a crush on a tall, blond, 200-year-old former viking vampire named Eric, does not make me less intelligent. After getting a glimpse of Alexander Skarsgård, who plays Eric in True Blood, I think I'll start saving up to buy or rent season 1. Dare I say it...Eric Northman is better than Edward Cullen in every possible way. I'm off to Walmart!