Why MLB Pitchers Need to Walk (or Hit) A-Rod For One Year

Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez is one home run away from being the youngest player in major league baseball to hit 600 home runs. Barf.

Sorry. Had to throw this in here.

  

Babe Ruth currently holds this title and it should MOST DEFINITELY remain this way. Therefore, I would like every pitcher who should face A-Rod in the future to walk him, or if you're really feeling spunky, hit him with the pitch like Kansas City Royals pitcher Blake Wood did last night. Thatta boy!

I couldn't be more proud of Wood. Bases were loaded in the eighth inning as A-Rod walked up to the plate surely prepared to blast one out of the park. Unfortunate Yankee fans hooted and hollered, displaying posters reading "600!" (Barf.) If A-Rod had hit a grand slam, I would have diiiied. Can you imagine how Blake Wood would have felt? For the rest of his life, for all of eternity, he would be known as the guy who pitched A-Rod his 600th home run. And not only would it be a home run, it would be a GRAND SLAM! Life would be pure misery for him.

Thankfully, Wood has brains. He threw a fastball into A-Rod's left hand. ZING! The wussy third baseman fell to the ground wailing in pain. Ok, maybe not wailing, but the absurd look on his face was a bit much, dontcha think? And why did he fall to the ground? The ball hit YOUR HAND. Stand up and be a man for goodness sake!

Rodriguez left the game after the wild pitch to have his hand examined. Unfortunately, no bones were broken and A-Rod says he'll be fine. (Barf.)

If and when the cocky bastard hits his next bomb, he will join six other major league hitters who have also hit 600 homers. However, as I stated earlier, he will also become the youngest. Babe Ruth - as in THE BABE RUTH -currently holds the title. The Babe was 36-years-old when he set the record. Rodriguez turns 35 tomorrow, (baaaaaarf) which means, naturally, that A-Rod should be withheld from hitting a homer until July 27, 2011.

MLB pitchers, ya heard?! Walk that guy or hit that guy until he's a year older! I can deal with him sharing the title with the Babe, but I can not deal with him owning it alone. BARF!

You know who would agree with me on this? The kids from The Sandlot. Smalls, Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez, Yeah-Yeah, Squintz, Ham...they would have a freaking fit! Unleash the beast on A-Rod!