Julie Cooper Bites(!)

Damon Salvatore's new flavor is soon to be Newport Beach's favorite piece of trailer trash. I love it.

What better slice of sass to introduce to the best new pop culture vampire installment than the bitch who broke Jimmy Cooper's heart... who fooled around with her daughter's 17-year-old boyfriend... who married the richest man in Newport - all the while corrupting her already troubled daughters, Marissa and Caitlin. (Oh, Josh Schwartz, how you satisfy my life.) Yes, folks, Melinda Clarke has joined the cast of Vampire Diaries. The bitchy redhead is back! Back with a bite! Can I get more corny?! Let's try!

From The O.C. to Mystic Falls, what better character for the infamous Julie to play, than a messed up, single mom who in her first scene enjoys a glass of cheap vodka. On the rocks. Love! Clarke plays Matt's no-good mom who we're just meeting after 14 episodes. Sounds like the role isn't far from her O.C. days as Mrs. Cooper-Nichol. Let's hope she's soon to grow a set of...fangs. Yum. After all, everyone knows hooking up with Damon Salvatore is bad news.

Damon Salvatore is my second favorite vampire these days. Mr. Northman comes first - of course. (Side note: At this point I'm like, Edward who? Cullen what? Sorry, Twi-hards. I've grown up.) Damon = Boone swoon = thank the Lord for Ian Somerhalder and those smoldering eyes (see left). Glimmer me anytime your cold, dead heart desires, lover.

He's a misunderstood bad boy (my fave) who, unfortunately, also happens to be dead and therefore, deadly. He kills without thinking, so therefore, he kills often. This show is violent! Behind those fangs, is a dreamboat. He's like Eric Northman's little bro - smooth and suave, with wit to match. He plays with his victims, torments the living and leaves a path of bloodless destruction everywhere he goes. However, Damon definitely does not have what it takes to be the Sheriff of Area 5. He's got a lot to learn before he can compete with that centuries old Swedish viking. Be still my heart...

What better cougar to steal the cold, dead heart of one Damon Salvatore than the former Cooper mom? LOVE. The woman was born to fang bang. On Vampire Diaries she shares more of a resemblance with the sunflower seed spittin', beer drinkin', Nascar watchin' hot mess version of Julie Cooper from the final season of The O.C., as opposed to the rich bitch, money hungry, "my reputation is everything" queen of Newport that we first meet in season one. Can't wait to see what Diaries has in store for Julie Cooper. Bring on the fangs!