What Would Suze Say?

To keep the iPhone or to return the iPhone...that is the question.

I feel like I've entered the world of cool. Never before have I felt so awesome. The reason? Two days ago I made what could be perhaps the most important purchase of my life. I bought an iPhone. And oh! my! God! am I in love with it. Forget guys. Forget girlfriends. Forget my family. My dog. All I need is that phone!

I'm nervous. Yes, I love the damn thing, but I'm second guessing myself. Maybe I shouldn't have bought it. Maybe I should be putting that extra $30 a month fee into a savings account, so that one day when I finally figure out where I'm going with my life, I'll have some money saved up to get there. But, oh, how I love this phone.

It's like paying $30 for a best friend. Someone to stick by your side through thick and thin. In a mere 48 hours, my entire life is inside this thing! My music, my pictures, my Facebook, my Twitter, my friends, my email, my bank, my EVERYTHING. For crying out loud, I don't need to ever take my eyes off of it. That little amazingly clear, beautiful touch screen is all I need to get by!

See, this is a problem. I don't want to become that girl. I fear I have already become her. In just a matter of two stinking days! The iPhone is all I do! It's the first thing I pick up when I wake up...it's my alarm clock...and the last/only thing I say goodnight to before I fall asleep! Oh no. I don't want to be that girl! That person who depends on her phone for everything. I don't want to be so dependent on technology! I'll never need a physical map or a book or a newspaper or a CD or a DVD or a TV or a bank! I guess I'll be helping out the environment since I won't be using paper of any form. I won't need anything anymore as long as I've got my trusty iPhone. And boy is she trusty. (Yes, it's a she.) She's amazing! And beautiful! And clear! And gorgeous! And dependable! And fun! And brilliant!

But, hold on. What's the point of all those apps? I mean, yeah, there's an app for literally EVERYTHING, but what's the point? I don't really need any apps. It just helps make me lazier and allows for less brain usage. For instance, I downloaded this app called Urban Spoon. You enter your zip code and it comes up with a list of restaurants nearby. You shake the iPod and it chooses a restaurant at random for you. You can read reviews of the restaurant, get directions, call the place. I won't even need to make decisions now! This is so awesome yet so awful!

I keep thinking about Suze Orman. What would Suze say? I don't technically watch her show. My parents do every now and again. I don't know why because they don't need her advice. They're very good at handling their finances. Anyway, on her show she takes phone calls from people who want to make a significant purchase, but don't know whether they should or not. If I were to call Suze Orman, she would say, "Jenny, do you need the iPhone or do you want the iPhone?" (Cue the Kristin Wiig impersonation.) Dammit, Suze! I don't need the iPhone. Not at all. And considering my current paycheck, I should be saving that additional $30 a month so I can move out of my parents house and on with my life. BUT IT'S SO PRETTY AND AWESOME!

I'm two days in to my 30-day trial period. If I decide during these next 28 days that I don't want the iPhone, I can bring it back to the AT&T store, get my $100 back and pick out a different phone. But, HOW could I possibly do such a thing?! Two days is ALL I need to decide I am 100% in LOVE with this incredible gadget and there's no way in the world I want to give it up! How could I ever go back to an ordinary cell phone? It's impossible!

Truth be told, I'd probably get over it eventually. But I guarantee I would miss her. I'd think about her on lonely nights when I'm sitting in the freezing cold basement checking my Yahoo! mail on my 10-year-old desktop, throwing my dumb ordinary cell phone against the wall because it's cursed and won't receive text messages from the one certain someone I want to receive text messages from. (My old phone and I did NOT get along. I think the ex-bf who bought it for me put a spell on it.) Bitch, puh-leeeease.

So, I ask you, anyone out there who reads this silly blog, what on Earth should I do?