Sun!

This girl needs a tan. Pronto. Let's face it, vampires are so 2008. (They'll be super cool again when New Moon comes out next fall. Edward Cullen's fang-a-licious sex appeal cannot be denied. But I digress...) Every women's magazine nowadays seems to be dedicated to telling me not to get any sun this summer. "Wear SPF 500," "Keep a hat on while you're at the beach," "Re-apply sunblock every 2 minutes" and so on. Blah, blah, blah, diddy blah, blah, blah. I understand that the sun is bad for you. Skin cancer! Ah! Wrinkles! Ah! Sunburns! Ah! Whatever. I'm going to do my best not to get skin cancer, I promise, but I will lay in the sun, weather providing. I'm 22 and I need a tan. If I have wrinkles when I'm 60, so what? Old people (no offense to my elders) have wrinkles. It's a known fact! I don't care if I look old when I am, in fact, old. Right now, my pale complexion looks sickly and I've been deprived of the sun for too damn long. Dear sun, send me your rays and let me bask in your warmth! Turn my skin brown and my hair blonde!