Total Eclipse of My Heart

Everyone has their guilty pleasures. Mine consist of American Idol, The O.C. (yes, I still watch it on Soap Net) and the Twilight Saga. I hate that I like it. Acutally, I don't think I even like it. I love to hate it. It's cheesy and ridiculous. The books are pathetically written, a sad attempt at literature. The acting at times is painful to watch, especially when Kristen Stewart mumbles every line. I'm too old to be interested, to be staying up so late to attend the midnight screening tonight, but peer pressure, curiosity and an undeniable crush on that damn Robert Pattinson lured me in.

I'm so excited to see this stupid movie and I'm so embarrassed at how excited I am. I'm fully aware of how seriosuly uncool this makes me. So be it. My ticket was purchased two months ago - the day the advanced tickets went on sale at the local theater. At least I'll be in the company of fellow Twi-hards including my sis, my cousin, my bff and a few Team Edward junkies from work, not to mention four movie theaters full of screaming adolescent girls adorned in Twilight paraphernalia. I'll be wearing my "Every girl needs her vampire" tee while swooning over Jacob's abs and Edward's sultry stare. I may or may not squeal when that teen vamp first appears on screen. I'll love it and I'll hate it and I'll tell everyone tomorrow how silly those Twilight fans are, pretending I don't care. But I do. I hate that I do.

Happy Birthday, J! 'Project Runway' Returns July 29th

Heidi Klum just made me way more excited for my upcoming birthday.

A new group of designers will make a mad dash through Mood starting Thursday, July 29th when Project Runway season eight returns to Lifetime. Yippee! I've been waiting for news of season eight since Seth Aaron kicked Emilio and Mila's asses last spring!

Not only does the show premiere on my birthday, Heidi's got another alteration (hehehe!) up her sleeve. Fans are going to see more action this time around. The show has been extended an extra 30 minutes. Naysayers be damned! No need to complain about not seeing enough of the finished garments, designer drama or snide Nina comments. There will be plenty of extra time to focus in on the good stuff.

I might have been opposed to the idea if the show wasn't debuting in July. An hour and a half is a long time to watch one show. However, despite my mild TV addiction, there's nothing clogging my DVR on Thursday nights in the summer. I don't have to worry about Runway overlapping with 30 Rock, The Office, or The Mentalist. All I have to worry about is Runway and 90 minutes of sewing bliss!

In case you missed it, Marie Claire featured a spread of last season's punk rock daddy winner, Seth Aaron, in their most recent issue on stands now. For more on the tattooed designer, click on the pic of him and his winning model, Kristina, below.

Now please go set your DVR. July 29th. 9pm. Lifetime.

"He wanted to live life to the extreme, but without any mess or complications. He wanted to live life in such a way that if a photograph were taken at random, it would be a cool photograph. Things should look right. Fun; there should be a lot of fun and no more sandness than absolutely necessary."

- One Day

Introducing Alcide Herveaux

Let's give a round of applause to the True Blood casting director for choosing the delectable Joe Manganiello to play Alcide Herveaux, Sookie Stackhouse's season three werewolf protector.

 

My hopes were high that the actor chosen to portray the werewolf would fulfill the significant role created by author of the book series, Charlaine Harris. Despite my love for Mr. Northman and my undying desire for him and Sookie to GET IT ON, after last night's introduction of the heartbroken werewolf with the dark hair and pretty eyes, I'm ok with him wooing Sookie while Bill's missing (and Eric's off buying expensive cars for Lafayette).

While reading Harris' books I was never fully convinced that Sookie should have the hots for Alcide. I was far too distracted by Eric and physically shaking with irritation that she didn't jump his dead bones the minute Bill disappeared. Her whining about him being gone is so annoying, isn't it? What do you want with that silly vampire when there's a gorgeous dead Viking begging you to invite him into your home so he can have "passionate, primal sex" with you? Get it together, Ms. Stackhouse!

I was hoping the Alcide on the show would have a different effect on me and by golly did he ever. Tall, dark, handsome, warm-blooded and very much alive and capable of basking in sunlight with Sookie, he's going to be a fair match for that Viking love of my life. Hate to spoil the fun, but if you watched last night's ep, you know Sookie and Alcide have chemistry.  The wolf - whose daddy has a debt to pay with Eric - has been assigned to keep Sookie safe while accompanying her to Mississippi to find Bill, who has been kidnapped by the nerdy, homosexual vampire king.

Sookie is going to develop the "Bella Swan New Moon syndrome." It goes a little something like this:  in the absence of her vampire boyfriend, the damsel finds herself in the company of a big, warm, cuddly werewolf hunk and suddenly all she wants is to be wrapped in his arms. Suddenly the idea of someone to wake up next to, a guy who will make you blueberry pancakes for breakfast, a guy whose heart beats, who isn't immortal, who she could share an actual life with – biting not included – sounds really appealing. Yes, he might howl at the moon and turn into a ferocious beast every once in awhile, but so what?

At this point I'm just anxious to see my girl Sookie get it on with anyone other than that doodle dud, Bill. I'm also anxious to see Alcide without a shirt on. Oh, True Blood, summer would be so dull without you.

Glam Nation Tour Bombarded By Cougars

Before I left the house yesterday on my way to New York to see Adam Lambert I told my mom I was going to get into a fight. I looked like a hot mess even before entering the heat and humidity consuming Manhattan. With destination: Glam Nation Tour in mind, I decided to go for a "Glamtastic Tranny Hooker" look and I think I pulled it off quite well. I wore my homemade studded denim vest a tight, short, sequined, leopard print dress, my black leather, studded gladiator sandals and black heart-shaped earrings - (one said "bitten," the other said "smitten"). My hair was teased out into a curly, poofy, wild woman mess and I had my makeup expertly done at Sephora right before the concert. More on that later. 


I believe I mentioned in an earlier post that tickets to the show were my treat to my recently college graduated sister. She was my partner in crime for the evening and I couldn't have asked for a better companion. We arrived in the city in the late afternoon with plenty of time to suck down a few frozen margaritas before we showed off our outfits to Adam at the Nokia Theater. One hour and four margaritas later, my sister and I were basically trashed - she more so than me. I don't know how it happened. Well, I guess we can blame the tequila - it just happened so fast.

The plan was to get our makeup done at Sephora before the show, so we stumbled our way there. Regardless of the fact that we were drunk and could hardly see straight, we aren't that skilled when it comes to makeup. We were sure we could convince the Sephora employees to help us. Drunk sis, who had a mild breakdown (which she couldn't recall later in the evening) on the eight block walk to the makeup headquarters, went right up to to one of the employees (who was just standing there, doing nothing) and slurred, "Hi! MysisterandIaregoingtotheAdamLambertconcertandwewantourmakeupdonelikeAdamLambert." She should have went with, "Hi, I'm looking for a great smokey eye. Can you show me how to do that?" because the woman looked at her like she was...well, a drunken mess and told her she couldn't do her makeup unless she bought $50 worth of cosmetics first.

 Pissed off as ever, Julie stomped away, grabbed a few disposable makeup brushes and proceeded to put every shade of purple and blue sparkly eye shadow on her eyelids. After five minutes, the girl had shadow down to her cheekbones - not exactly the look she was going for. Luckily, the employee pitied her - or so we think. Julie doesn't remember how she ended up seated in the makeup chair getting her face done up. Pretty soon, Julie had perfect purple shadow from lash-line to brow, accented by a white eyeliner on bottom and a winged black liner on top. It looked marvelous. As I stood there watching, fascinated, the makeup artist (who claimed she just did the makeup on the Glee tour!) asked me if I wanted mine done, too. Well, yeah since you're being so nice and since you probably powdered Finn's face! She gave me a gold smokey eye to match my lioness dress and it completed my look. Sis and I each (drunkenly) purchased a $20 eyeshadow so we wouldn't feel so guilty and beelined it to the show.

Sadly we missed Allison Iraheta, but arrived just in time to see Orianthi. I couldn't understand a thing she sang, but she looked cool in head to toe black leather and her Australian accent is just darling. Orianthi finished and while we impatiently awaited Glambert's arrival, sis and I contemplated leaving. It was SO HOT in that theater and our margaritas were not sitting well in our stomachs. We probably would have chopped off our left feet for a bottle of water. To top it all off, fellow concertgoers kept trying to fight us. Most of these angry concertgoers were cougars - aka 50-year-old women looking for a piece of Lambert ass. Apparently, no one informed them that Adam swings the other way. During his time on Idol the cougar thing was kind of funny. Not the case anymore. It's just stupid and gross and annoying as hell. Needless to say, the cougars and I did not get along. More than one of them tapped me on the shoulder or shoved me, trying to get my attention because I was in there way or something. Sorry that I'm 6-feet-tall. I didn't wear heels for your benefit (even though they would have seriously topped off my tranny hooker look), so don't be mad at me for something I can't control. If a spot in the crowd in front of me opened up, drunk sis and I eagerly stepped forward, itching to get as close to the stage as possible. No cougars were stopping this fan. 

Now, the Nokia Theater in Times Square is standing room only, which is part of the reason we chose to see Adam at that venue. I didn't want to be sitting in some stupid arena. I wanted to be on my feet dancing like a fool. Unfortunately, I was the only one with such intentions. NO ONE MOVED. HOW do you go to an Adam Lambert concert and not jump up and down as he struts across the stage mere feet in front of you singing "Fever" (the Stephanie Germanotta - aka LADY GAGA - penned tune), opening his mouth wide and hanging his tongue out at the end of every flawlessly fabulous note? HOW?! I'm looking at you, you crazy cougars. How dare you try and pick a fight with me - me! - the only one dancing! I couldn't keep my feet in one place.

 

I've never been to rave, but I imagine it would be a lot like an Adam Lambert concert plus a whole lotta drugs. Dance music with a thumping techno beat, flashing multi-colored laser beams pulsating over the crowd, fog machines filling the room with a cool, misty haze...BUT NO ONE WAS DANCING. During "If I Had You" I wished I was on drugs because then I probably wouldn't have minded the paralyzed duds surrounding me. My jumping and jiving led to a lot of accidental (and impossible to avoid) bumping and shoving, which made the cougars that much angrier. I ignored them because that's what Adam would have wanted. After all, he was telling me to "Get on the floor, just let it drop, Don't it feel good, don't it feel hot, Feel the fire within..." I didn't come all that way to ignore him.

Unfortunately ill-tempered cougars aside, Adam's performance was stellar. It's easy to see how he almost won Idol. His charisma and natural stardom is undeniable. During the course of his 14-song performance, he dazzled in an array of hats and floor length pimp coats, pompadour fully pomp'd, mischievous smile spread wide across his handsome face. He mixed ballads and dance grooves from his debut album with unique versions of the songs that made him famous on Idol. The best one? He ended the show with a slower, almost serene version of Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" - my absolute favorite Adam Idol performance and therefore, the perfect way to end the night, especially because it was followed by this:

That's my sis in the arms of a Spanish Spidey in what he calls his "rescue pose". Like I said, she was an excellent - and highly entertaining- companion.

R.Patz and the World Cup

If you haven't had the pleasure of visiting robertisbothered.com and viewing Jimmy Fallon's collection of video's mocking everyone's favorite Cullen, Robert Pattinson, please do so now. Make sure you watch the one that includes the actual Robert Pattinson.

Here's the latest edition. Robert is bothered by the World Cup. Ole!

Do it in the daytime with the D-O-double-G

Someone order me a gin and juice at Merlotte's now.

I can't decide if this is the best or worst thing I've ever seen. I think I hate it. Can someone please explain the point of this video to me? Please?! Since when is Snoop Dogg a Sookie Stackhouse fan? Whose idea was this? Is he on V? Is HBO on V? Can I have some V?!

In Pam's Words: S3E2

"I think about crying children with soggy diapers. 

And maggots."

- Pam to Jessica when asked how she stops herself from sucking 

someones blood before draining them entirely

Backstreet's Back, Playing Games With My Heart

When I told my best friend I had tickets to see the Backstreet Boys he asked, "Are they even relevant anymore?!" 

If you read my blog, you know I had a similar reaction upon being invited to attend this concert.

Perhaps the answer to my BFF's question is no, perhaps the Backstreet Boys are not relevant anymore. Perhaps most of us have moved on. The boy bands and pop music of the '90s and early '00s are mere memories of a distant past. For me, however, the Backstreet Boys will always be relevant. It's sad but true and I probably wouldn't have confessed this before the concert, partially because I didn't realize it was indeed true, but after watching them sing "Quit Playing Games with My Heart" (followed immediately by "As Long As You Love Me" *swoon*) something in me was re-born and I cannot deny my BSB devotion. This love is everlasting. I can't believe I just typed that.

Every female can relate. We've all had a boy band experience at one point - whether it be The Beatles, New Kids on the Block, NSYNC or the Backstreet Boys. Their songs, faces and smiles are imprinted on our hearts for eternity. It might be safe to assume Nick Carter was the first boy I ever loved. Things like this stay with a girl.

The Backstreet Boys entered my life at a pivotal time. I was 11-years-old. If memory serves me right, MTV's Total Request Live had just begun and BSB was all over it. My sister and I shared a VHS tape that we used to record music videos of our favorite boy bands (how ancient!). It started with the video for "Everybody" (fan comments scrolling across the bottom of the screen included!) I must have viewed it a thousand times.

So imagine the overwhelming rush of nostalgia that hit me like a slap in the face when these four guys who wooed me all those years ago appeared on stage and belted out "Everybody". Lucky enough to have landed floor seats eight rows back from the stage (my job rocks sometimes!), I was in the midst of a pit of women with their hands in the air singing, dancing and SCREAMING louder and louder every time one of the four remaining Boys thrust their pelvis.

I went back in time. I was suddenly 11-years-old again at my very first concert, BSB's first world tour. And without the slightest bit of shame I joined the mass of frenzied BSB fans. I threw my hands in the air, danced, sang and screamed when Nick Carter grabbed his junk. Lyrics to each of the songs that I hadn't heard in years spilled out of my mouth like glittery, poptastic, boy band puke. And I loved it. I knew every word to every song they sang, which included mostly the classics - "The Call," "Larger Than Life," "I Want it That Way," "If You Want it to Be Good Girl (Get Yourself a Bad Boy)," "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely," "We've Got it Goin' On," "The One," and "I'll Never Break Your Heart" (which for years I wholeheartedly envisioned as my future wedding song).

Boy band mockery aside, they guys really did put on a good show. Despite their age and ridiculously cheesy female back-up dancers, they looked better than I've seen them in years. They sang flawlessly, their dance moves were actually enjoyable - age appropriate and not too over the top - and they seemed to be having a blast, thanking the crowd of thousands for being the best fans they could ask for during their 17-year existence. And folks, Nick Carter's still got it. His voice was less whiny than I remember, he's definitely lost weight (remember his fatty stage), and while I could do without his baggy, bleached jeans and gi-normous ego, he's the same adorable teeny bopper I fell in love with back in 1998.

After all that complaining about being suckered into purchasing a ticket, I feel refreshed, renewed, like an important chunk of my heart and soul has been replaced. The Backstreet Boys forced me to recognize some things about myself that I tried to ignore. Once a Backstreet Boy fan, always a Backstreet Boy fan. Thanks, guys. I needed that.

Uncle Jesse Joins Glee

It's been over a week since the Glee season finale, so surely by now you've watched it and know Miss Pillsbury is seeing someone and surely you gasped and were as disappointed as Mr. Schuester was when you found out, right? Sadly, Emma has found another man while Will was off making whoopee with glee club coaches and Kristin Chenoweth. You snooze, you lose, Schuester! And this time, you're losing bad.

Looks like the New Directions coach has tough competition coming his way next season. John Stamos has signed on to play the recurring role of Emma's new dentist beau. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! Former Jesse and the Rippers star will woo the germaphobe guidance counselor.

I am in LOVE with this news. Glee could not have come up with a better addition to this already fantastic show. I can't wait until Uncle Jesse and Will Schuester have a sing off! 

I leave you with this...

Eric & Sue: Tracksuit Duo

I hate to poke fun at my beloved viking vampire, Eric Northman, but I cannot resist. This is just a simple observation.

While refreshing my blood sucking loving brain on season two of True Blood, I couldn't help but notice that sexy vampire's attire: a tracksuit. With that new haircut - a shorter 'do thanks to the blood he got in his hair while having an unplanned snack in the midst of Pam's dye job - he just so happens to resemble another of my favorite television villains, Glee's Sue Sylvester.

Am I right or am I right? Don't hate me, Eric. You wear your suit - and hair - a hell of a lot better than the Cheerios coach.

In case you forgot about Eric's highlighting mishap, here ya go...

Yummy.

In Pam's Words: S3E1

You know I love True Blood. I especially love Pam. I adore her sarcasm and pink lipstick. From now on I'll be posting my favorite Pam line from each weeks new episode. Much thanks to whomever writes her genius lines.

"I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know, that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago." 

- Pam to Lafayette when he complains to her about having to sell V for Eric

 

It's Not TV, It's HBO

Hello, my name is Jenny from the blog and I'm a proud subscriber of HBO. 

I begged asked my dad to order HBO and told him I would pay the difference in the cable bill. I am now a proud subscriber of HBO and owe my dad $10 a month. The sole purpose for subscribing to HBO is to watch True Blood live in HD. This helps ease the pain of my current small town life status. Thanks, dad. Now bring on the 13th and an explanation for the picture posted above!

Summer Chick Lit Must List

One day I'll pen my own chick lit book. It's going to be a best seller, I swear. You'll love it. I already know what it's going to be about - don't ask. It's extremely confidential. I think I finally figured out my ending, so you shouldn't have to wait too much longer.

Until then, I suggest pouring over the pages of novels by the likes of Janet Evanovich, Jodi Picoult, and Emily Griffin - all of which have new books soon to be on shelves. Perfect for beach reading, girls!

I just finished Picoult's latest, House Rules. It wasn't her best, but it was everything you'd expect to get out of a J.P. novel - a heart wrenching tale of a family's imperfections, complete with an edge of your beach chair court scene ending. Gripping!

Here's what's currently on my Amazon.com wish-list:

• Heart of the Matter by Emily Griffin, out now!
• Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner, July 13
• My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares, June 1
• Insatiable by Meg Cabot, June 8
• Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich, June 22

While you're waiting for those, may I suggest the best earlier novels of the above authors?

• Something Borrowed and Something Blue by Emily Griffin
• Certain Girls or In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner
• The Last Summer (Of You and I) by Ann Brashares
• One for the Money by Janet Evanovich

When you finish reading them and your summer comes to an end, don't be sad. There's always next summer when Griffin's first novel (her best), Something Borrowed, hits the silver screen. Yes! It's being made into a movie! Starring Kate Hudson, Ginnifer Goodwin and John Krasinski! Did I just make your day?

John Krasinski's smile always makes my day.

HOT MESS ALERT: Mischa Barton Edition

Can we take a moment to process this?

 

 

HOT MESS ALERT. The pictures were taken back in January on the set of Law & Order: SVU. Mischa plays a pregnant prostitute. Um, cool?

"Top Model" Gets Fashionable

ANTM haters be dammed! Tyra Banks' model show is actually getting fashionable in what will be it's 15th season to air this coming fall.

Instead of the winning girl appearing on the cover of Seventeen magazine, cycle 15's top model will grace the cover of none other than ITALIAN VOGUE. Uh, say what now?

Suddenly, ANTM's getting serious. For all you clueless to the world of fashion, Itlaian Vogue is a heck of a step up from Seventeen. Tyra and Co. is going from teeny-bopper, cutesy, smiley, nonsense to...well, fashion. Legit fashion. International fashion. Shit that actually matters. Shit that will actually launch a model's career, for chrissake!

Hot damn, Tyra. Hot damn.

Baby GaGa

 

This is my boss' newborn baby girl, Maja (pronounced Maya). Like her onesie? It was created (in part) by yours truly. It was a joint creative effort between my GaGa-loving self and my GaGa-loving friend/co-worker and her not so GaGa-loving fiance who just so happens to be quite knowledgable when it comes to Photoshop.

 

The GaGa onesies were the hit of my boss' baby shower. They were by far the most creative and personal gift and they gave our boss a damn good laugh. 

 

Doesn't Maja look so adorable!? It's the youngest GaGa fan I've ever seen and I effing love it.

KIN I Please Move to NYC Now?

Passion Pit.

Black Keys.

Ting Tings.

Each of the above mentioned bands played a free show in NYC this weekend. The locations of the shows were kept secret up until four hours before the bands hit the stage. It served as a promotional tool for the "Kin" - a hot new phone by Microsoft that obviously has big plans if it's going to so much trouble to gain the praise of fans of the above mentioned awesome effing bands. Nowadays, if you're a cell phone trying to get noticed in a world pretty much taken over by Apple, you gotta go big in order to get noticed. In my opinion, the Kin did just that. 

That said, add this to the list of reasons I need to move back to New York. Or any big city for that matter. Before the Kin took over Manhattan, it attacked San Fransisco with performances by Yeasayer, N.E.R.D. and Asher Roth. Tonight The Dead Weather joined the list of Kin promo bands. The Jack White led rock group (who just debuted their badass second album) performed a secret Kin show in Chicago.

If only, people. If only.

Can you imagine running around New York City last Saturday night? Constantly checking your phone, Twitter, Facebook, etc. for news on the location of the show. Sprinting all across town as hints were fed. And then finally figuring it out, grabbing a spot in line and being one of the few hundred fans who made it in to the free show?

YES, PLEASE.

"LOST" No Longer

Guys, I'm not lost anymore. After last night I've been found. Enlightened. My faith is restored. Hopefully you were as humbled by the dramatic LOST finale as I was.

Who cares about the scientific mythological hoopla? Yes, there are plenty of questions left unanswered. But I don't mind. Those answers aren't really important now, are they? What's more important to this LOSTie is that her beloved casatways, her constants from the past six years, have been found. They are happy. They are with the people they are meant to be with. Finally, their souls are at peace. I will sleep better from now on knowing that Jack is with Kate, Sawyer is with Juliet and Penny and Desmond are together forever. Amen

Haters, calm down. No need to get your panties in a wad. Take solace in the fact that the show ended peacfully. There's no sense in being bitter. This is it. It's over. Jack is our hero, Desmond is our guardian angel and that's that. Accept it and move on.

There are lots of interpretations out there in the blogosphere about what the finale really meant. I'm pleased to find most of the reviews are positive. Some fans are disappointed with the unanswered questions, but overall, critics are praising the episode, applauding it's focus on the emotional aspects of the characters and the outstanding acting delivered by the cast. This was a love story, people. A beautiful, romantic love story. Better constructed, delivered and performed than any chick flick I've ever seen. I laughed, I cried and in the end I smiled - satisfied, comforted, accepting of the fact that this enormous chunk of my life has come to an end. I needed closure and for the most part, I got just that.

Here's what I got from "The End": The plane did clrash on the island all those years ago. Lots of people died. Jack & Co. did escape. They were the Oceanic 6. They eventually went back to the island. There was time travel and Others and temples, a man named Jacob and his brother, the smoke monster. Jack died on the island. Kate, Claire, Sawyer, Richard, Miles and Lappidus made it off the island alive via the Ajira plane Lappidus fixed and flew. Meanwhile, Hurley and Ben stuck together until they finally passed away on the island. Perhaps of natral causes. Perhaps of old age. I don't think Hurley became like Jack and Jacob when he drank the water. Heck, I'm not even convinced Jack became like Jacob. Maybe I'm wrong, but I really don't think Hurley gained any special powers. Maybe it's because the island was "uncorked" at the time Jack "appointed" him as the new island gaurdian. Afterall, when the island was uncorked lots of things went awry: Richard grew a grey hair (gasp!), Smokey could be killed (and was by our hero, Jack), and the island was apparently collapsing into the sea. Perhaps if Hurley was appointed after Jack replaced the cork, it could have worked. That being said, in my eyes, it didn't work. Hurley was not made to live forever.

Eventually, all of the above mentioned people died. We all die. There's no stopping it. As they died, they moved on to this new life - the sideways/parallel world as we've been calling it all season. It was in this limbo, this purgatory where they needed to recognize the life they once lived. In order to do so they had to be reaquainted with their fellow castaways - the people that had mattered most in their lives - in order to move on to heaven. To peace. To be found. They did this with the help of everyone's number one bruhthuh, Desmond Hume. He knew what needed to happen, much thanks to a drugged out Drive Shaft bassist. He took it upon himself to unite the castaways.

As these people came in contact with each other, memories of a past life came flooding back. My favorite recognition came from Sawyer. The look in his eyes as he remembered what Juliet meant to him...OH MY GOODNESS. "Kiss me, James." "You got it, blondie." UGH! I loved, loved, loved it. I also bawled like a baby. I cried during every interaction involving these island memories. (And whenever Hurley cried, I cried ten times harder.) Every former island couple was reunited including Sawyer and Juliet, Claire and Charlie, Sayid and Shannon and most importantly, Jack and Kate. Yes, folks, Freckles finally made up her mind and chose a man. Jack. And what a man he is.

Jack was the last soul to be found so to speak, but when he became enlightened, what a mighty moment it was. That conversation with his father, Christian Shephard (hardy har har!), the tears, the realization that he died, too! Once aware of the situation, daddy Shephard led his son into the church where his loved ones waited and together they ended their wild, tumultuous, emotional journey and entered the light.

And they all died happily ever after.

 

 

I've Got Mail

One of my top 10 favorite movies of all time is You've Got Mail. If you're not familiar, it's a romantic comedy starring former Sleepless in Seattle couple, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks - an ideal romantic duo if I do say so. The film follows the typical rom-com outline: Two people meet, hate each other with a passion, and then eventually experience a change of heart and fall madly in love. The end.

While it's a predictable chick flick, I love You've Got Mail and am not ashamed to admit my devotion. There's something extra lovely and charming about this film that puts it in a separate category. It's not a cheese-ball chick flick. It's got depth and passion and it takes place in Manhattan in springtime (twitterpation!). Meg Ryan is so pleasant (aside from her overdone collagen-injected top lip that doesn't move) and Tom Hanks is so gosh darn adorable. From the moment their character's meet, you know they'll end up together. That's how a chick flick works. That's why your heart hurts throughout the entire film. You want these goons to recognize their love for each other and you can't take another second of them denying their feelings!

In this case the main characters really despise one another. Tom Hanks' character, Joe Fox, is opening a massive bookstore, Fox Books, right down the block from Kathleen Kelly's (Meg Ryan) independently owned bookshop, Shop Around the Corner, which she took over when her mother passed away. He's the villain. She's the neighborhood princess. Needless to say, they do not get along.

Meanwhile - outside of their business lives - both characters fancy online chat rooms. (The movie was released in 1998. Email was just becoming a hit. Stop making fun of the storyline, ok?) Ironically, each of them met someone online who they emailed daily. "Shopgirl" and "NY152" fall madly in love regardless of the fact that they've never met in person. Little do they know, they're in love with their arch enemies! Oh, the irony!

Joe Fox and his mega-store eventually run Kathleen Kelly out of business. Now at this point, Joe knows Kathleen is Shopgirl. Shopgirl and NY152 arranged to meet in person. She arrived to the meeting place first. When Joe arrived, he figured out that Shopgirl was actually Kathleen Kelly(!!). He kept the secret from Shopgirl and worked hard to make her like him, since he realized he didn't hate this woman. He loved her. The two develop a friendship and after awhile, Fox starts to grow on Kelly. 

As Fox and Kelly build their friendship, Shopgirl and NY152 arrange a second meeting. Shopgirl was originally upset with NY152 because he never showed up for their first meeting (because he got there and realized it was Kathleen Kelly!). Joe Fox is the one who convinces Kathleen to give NY152 a second shot. (But not before they discuss the possibilites of his online name: "152 people who think he looks like Clark Gable"..."152 stitches from his nose job"..."152 years old"...)

Shopgirl meets NY152 in the park on a sunny spring afternoon. She walks around aimlessly, looking for the online man of her dreams. Suddenly, she spots Joe Fox. He nods his head. Yes, Kathleen Kelly, Joe Fox is NY152. He's the man of your dreams. She approaches him and she says through her tears, "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly." Oh, my heartstrings! He wipes away a tear and says, "Don't cry, Shopgirl." HEARTSTRINGS! How romantic!

Yesterday I found myself in a similar moment. An old "friend" who has been away from home for months said he had a surprise for me. He was mailing me a present. Just something little, he said, that reminded him of me. Last week he said he shipped it and UPS predicted it would arrive on Monday. The strange thing was he sent the package to his house, so I would have to pick it up there. When I asked him why he didn't just mail it to my house, he said, "You'll see."

Yesterday, Monday, he sent me a text saying the package was delivered to his house and I could go pick it up anytime. Ever since he mentioned the surprise, I wondered if it would actually be him. The thought gave me heart palpitations. Therefore, anytime I considered it, I brushed the idea aside. I didn't want to jinx it if it were true.

Later that night I made my way over to his house. I pulled into his driveway and started to get out of the car. His front door opened and there he was, walking across the front lawn towards me with the happiest smile on his face. All along my surprise was him. I threw myself into his arms and squeezed him as tight as I could. And I thought to myself, I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly! 

Just call me Shopgirl.

GG Can Suck It

Dear Mr. Schwartz,

I would like to take a moment to tell you we're through. Your season finale of Gossip Girl last night left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. I cannot believe the cruel way you made our beloved characters act out. Seriously? 

How dare you turn Chuck Bass into such a monster. He should have waited a few extra minutes for Blair. He definitely should NOT have so quickly turned to booze and deflowered Jenny Humphrey. Don't even get me started on that mess. First everyone hates her. She's ruining relationships, everyone's scared of her, says she's on a path of self destruction. Then she lets Chuck take her virginity because she's lonely. Afterward, everyone feels sorry for her. Suddenly she's a saint?! I think not. She starts sobbing (because she's an idiot and probably only let Chuck take advantage of her so she would ruin yet another relationship between two very compatible, in-love people) and everyone forgives her? Ugh, Jenny Humphrey, I hate you! And I hate your hair! And your makeup! And your clothes! And your attitude! UGH!
 

Chuck would never have given up on Blair so quickly. Deep down he knew she would show up. He knew it! Stop trying to make us think he didn't! Let's be serious. Now that Blair knows what Chuck did with Jenny, they should never be together, but thus Gossip Girl fans would have nothing to look forward to. Which is why Chuck and Blair will eventually get back together. You know what, Mr.Schwartz? I won't be around to see that bullcrap happen. Like I said, we're through.

Now let's discuss Serena and Dan and Nate. Fine. I can deal with Dan still having the hots for the sexy blond drag queen. But he seemed really into Vanessa not too long ago. Apparently not. You've moved things around too quickly. Serena cheats on Nate with Dan - just a kiss, a bottle of wine and a sleepover in Dan's bed - and goes running straight to Nate to explain nothing happened. Nate accepts this load of horse shit (because apparently he's a pathetic sap who doesn't know what's good for him) and they agree to go back to the way things used to be. My problem with this: THINGS HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD BETWEEN THEM SINCE THEY GOT TOGETHER. My second issue: THEY SHOULD BE PERFECT. Like Blair told Jenny, they're MYTHIC:

But you effed it all up, Schwartz. Just like that Serena breaks up with Nate and is totally happy running away to Paris for the summer. Yeah, sure. In all fairness, Nate's better off without her because he seems to be a decent person who just so happens to be effing beautiful. But you went and ruined him, too. There he sits surrounded by ho's in skimpy lingerie. PUH-LEASE.

Meanwhile, stupid Dan Humphrey is researching AirFrance tickets. Why? So he can chase his STEP-SISTER to Paris to beg her to be his girlfriend? All this before explaining anything to Vanessa (who is apparently in Haiti?)?! But, wait! Dan isn't going ANYWHERE because here comes Georgina Sparks and guess what she's carrying?! DAN'S BABY. Barf.

The only regular who hasn't been turned into a monster is Blair. Instead, she suffers from love sickness, a broken heart. How could you do that to her, Schwartz? HOW?!

And with that I say so long, Upper East Siders. It was fun while it lasted.

Sincerely,

J from the B

TVD Leaves Me Squealing with Delight

Vampire Diaries, are you kidding me?! I just watched the season finale and my heart is about to explode.

If you've never heard of this show... If you've never seen an episode... If you've avoided it like I did (before finally giving in) because you were sick of the vampire nonsense invading pop culture... You should reconsider your decision. I'm sure as hell glad I did. Let me tell you. This show is the shit. It's way more badass than Twilight. No effing sparkling vamps in Mystic Falls. Uh uh. Likewise, it's not as sexy or bloody as True Blood (by the way, thank GOD for the TB promo that aired during this ep! For a girl who is without HBO, this was a hugely unexpected and overwhelming surprise. Holy hell!) However, Damon Salvatore - played by the hunk with the piercing blue eyes, Ian Somerhalder - is one sexy freaking vampire. And the show can be bloody at times, like when evil, heart-breaking vamp, Katherine, sliced off Uncle John's fingers (as in every finger 'cept maybe his thumb, I couldn't tell). There was quite a bit of spurting, spraying blood.  And there was plenty more spurting, spraying blood when she staked him immediately after slicing off his fingers. Note to the clueless: Uncle John has a special ring that protects him from death - no matter how many times Damon throws him from a two-story balcony. Insead of gently slipping that ring off the ugly uncle's finger, Katherine chopped every finger ('cept maybe his thumb) off. And then she staked him. Burn!

Did I mention Uncle John is actually Elena's daddy? Well, dead daddy come next season. (Unless someone turns him into a vampire. Even then he'd still technically be dead.) This suspicion was confirmed in the season finale. Poor orphan girl, Elena. Geeze. That girl canNOT catch a break when it comes to rents. Her dad is a jackass vampire hater and her mom is an actual vampire. An evil vamp. With no humanity left. Note to the clueless: Damon turned Elena's mommy, Isobell. Only 'cuz she asked him to. He means well. Sometimes.

Speaking of Damon, his humanity was really seeping back this episode. He can't stop! It's like tidal waves of emotion - lovely, painful, human emotion attacking his non-beating heart every time Elena's around. He wants her and he aint denying it. It's not in his nature to deny something of the sort, especially to Elena's boyfriend, Damon's lil' bro, Stefan. You heard him: "I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl."

The best part of the episode came at the end. After the vamp massacre that Damon and Stefan survived - much thanks to the wicked witch of the south, Bonnie - Damon thought he had won the heart of Elena. And my God, I thought he did. In a moonlit moment on her front porch Damon leaned in ever so slowly and kissed her on the cheek as I squealed in sheer delight. EEEE! He wasn't finished there. After pulling away, the sexy, sullen vamp slowly leaned in for his lips to touch hers and she didn't hesitate a bit. She let him kiss her. A kiss from Damon Salvatore = HOT! Hotter than Hades HOT. She took him in like she had been waiting a hundred years. And, folks, that's exactly why it appeared that way. This wasn't Elena. SHOCKER! It was her lookalike, bitch vamp Katherine. The one who stole the hearts and human lives of the Salvatore brothers a century or so ago! Was anyone expecting this?! Did anyone see it coming?! NO! And that, my friends, is why this ending was so effing good. WATCH IT HERE. Now please.

I can't help but wonder, did Damon know he was smooching Katherine? Was that look of wonderment on his face because he couldn't believe he was right about Elena's more-than-friends feelings for him? Or was the look of surprise because he considered the brunette beauty might be Katherine? It looked like he was considering the idea, but then thought no, it couldn't be. Or could it, Damon? 

After posing as Elena to swap spit with Damon, Katherine went inside to kill John. Little did she know (or anyone knew, for that matter), Elena's brother, Jeremey, was upstairs committing suicide/turning himself into a bloodsucker via his recetly deceased good vamp girlfriend's blood, which she gave to him in a vial before she was staked and then burned in the vampire massacre. Note to the clueless: Uncle John/daddy John was the leader of said massacre and the asshole who staked Jeremy's teenage vampire lover. This is his second teenage vampire lover. The first was also staked. Unfortunately, I'm not kidding.

 Damon, while you're pondering the possibility of having just shared a hot and heavy lip smack with Katherine, do us all a favor. Save the Gilbert family from more tragedy. Fly on upstairs and pump the pain killers out of Jeremy's tummy before he dies, wakes up a vamp and feeds off of Uncle John's rotting body in the kitchen. Eww. 

I need to re-watch the final scenes. Was Katherine the girl professing her love for Stefan before locking lips with Damon? Or was that actually Elena? Folks, I think it was (OMG) Katherine! Could she have fooled both brothers in record time and laid a wet one on BOTH their sexy lips?! Elena be damned (pun INTENDED!)!

I apologize for not giving this show enough credit. I'm covered in goosebumps. I'll dream of kissing Damon Salvatore tonight. (Boone swoon!) What am I going to do all summer?! Oh, season finales! Oh, the agony! Oh, wait. Oh, yes. True Blood. ONE MONTH FROM TODAY, fang bangers!

Pre-Teen, GaGa-Inspired Prodigy

I wonder if this kid needs a date to a school dance or something? This is him performing GaGa's "Paparazzi" at his school's Sixth Grade Festival:

GG Season 3 Finale: Gunshot, Sex, Incest!

One episode left of Gossip Girl season 3 and I'm remaining optimistic. The season hasn't been satisfying. I won't be pre-ordering the boxed set on Amazon anytime soon...or ever. Last night's ep was mundane, predictable, eye-roll worthy - especially whenever a scene featured Serena and/or "Little J". Ugh. They are both so self absorbed and whiny and irritating! However, the ep ended with a few bangs to keep me hopeful that next week's finale will keep me at the edge of my seat. I hope that by the end of the hour I will be highly irritated that I'll have to wait all summer to hear Kristen Bell mutter the words, "Gossip Girl here..." before she fills us in on the fabulous lives of New York's Upper East Siders.

Last night's episode featured a few twists. First of all, Vanessa was nowhere to be found. In her absence, boyfriend, Dan was available to comfort ex-girlfriend and current stepsister, Serena, as she was forced to accept her recently new-found daddy as a lying,cheating scoundrel. I believe (and am praying) that last night was Mr. Van Der Woodsen's final departure from the Upper East Side. He will now be heading back downtown to resume his position at 30 Rock. Right?

It seems Dan wants Serena and vice versa. Huh. Nice blast from the past. A cute little reminder of what once was. Just like season 1. Miss queen of Manhattan woes lowly ol' Brooklyn boy. Then pops his cherry. Now they're parents are married. This is WRONG. It's incest! It needs to stop before it starts and I vomit in my mouth.

As far as the show's lead hot mess, Jenny Humprey hates her family, which is perfect because it appears they hate her. Little J's gay, once suicidal step-bro-bro, Eric, told her if she didn't want to be a part of the family, just leave. So she did. And boy, she ran so far away! She ran all the way across town to Chuck and Nate's apartment. Nate was there drinking his sorrows away, as unbeknown to him, his good buddy Dan was comforting his hunny with longing puppy-dog eyes in the back of a town car. Nate wasn't surprised to see Jenny wheeling her suitcases in off the damn elevator. What with all the throwing herself at him Jenny's been doing all season, how could Nate be surpirsed? It looked like he was leading her towards his bedroom. We all know the hot mess wants Nate and she wants him bad. My prediction is they're totally gonna do it...or at least get pretty damn close until Nate realizes he's screwing a corpse. For the last time, wash your hideous makeup off, Little J. You're scaring children.

And finally, no matter how blatantly Chuck Bass throws himself at lost lover, Blair, the stubborn beeyatch won't give in. At last, Chuck offered his dearly beloved an ultimatum: Meet him on top of the Empire State Building by 7:01pm tomorrow, or he will lock her out of his heart forever. Gasp! Will Chuck's Sleepless in Seattle plan win Blair's heart back? From the way she longingly gazed up at the NYC landmark upon leaving Chuck, my guess is yes. But anything can happen. Looks like someone's even gonna get shot next week. No surprise there, Mr. Schwartz. The O.C. season 2 finale? Marissa shoots Trey? Imogen Heap record sales skyrocket? SNL makes digital short featuring Shia LaBeouf? Ring any bells, party people? I wonder what song will accompany a Gossip Girl gunshot wound...

Here's a look at the trailer for next week's Gossip Girl finale:

And just for fun, watch Marissa shoot Trey. Cue "Hide and Seek." Oh, the nostalgia!

And for a good laugh: