I think we're at our best by the flicker by the light of the TV set.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

TVD Leaves Me Squealing with Delight

Vampire Diaries, are you kidding me?! I just watched the season finale and my heart is about to explode.

If you've never heard of this show... If you've never seen an episode... If you've avoided it like I did (before finally giving in) because you were sick of the vampire nonsense invading pop culture... You should reconsider your decision. I'm sure as hell glad I did. Let me tell you. This show is the shit. It's way more badass than Twilight. No effing sparkling vamps in Mystic Falls. Uh uh. Likewise, it's not as sexy or bloody as True Blood (by the way, thank GOD for the TB promo that aired during this ep! For a girl who is without HBO, this was a hugely unexpected and overwhelming surprise. Holy hell!) However, Damon Salvatore - played by the hunk with the piercing blue eyes, Ian Somerhalder - is one sexy freaking vampire. And the show can be bloody at times, like when evil, heart-breaking vamp, Katherine, sliced off Uncle John's fingers (as in every finger 'cept maybe his thumb, I couldn't tell). There was quite a bit of spurting, spraying blood.  And there was plenty more spurting, spraying blood when she staked him immediately after slicing off his fingers. Note to the clueless: Uncle John has a special ring that protects him from death - no matter how many times Damon throws him from a two-story balcony. Insead of gently slipping that ring off the ugly uncle's finger, Katherine chopped every finger ('cept maybe his thumb) off. And then she staked him. Burn!

Did I mention Uncle John is actually Elena's daddy? Well, dead daddy come next season. (Unless someone turns him into a vampire. Even then he'd still technically be dead.) This suspicion was confirmed in the season finale. Poor orphan girl, Elena. Geeze. That girl canNOT catch a break when it comes to rents. Her dad is a jackass vampire hater and her mom is an actual vampire. An evil vamp. With no humanity left. Note to the clueless: Damon turned Elena's mommy, Isobell. Only 'cuz she asked him to. He means well. Sometimes.

Speaking of Damon, his humanity was really seeping back this episode. He can't stop! It's like tidal waves of emotion - lovely, painful, human emotion attacking his non-beating heart every time Elena's around. He wants her and he aint denying it. It's not in his nature to deny something of the sort, especially to Elena's boyfriend, Damon's lil' bro, Stefan. You heard him: "I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl."

The best part of the episode came at the end. After the vamp massacre that Damon and Stefan survived - much thanks to the wicked witch of the south, Bonnie - Damon thought he had won the heart of Elena. And my God, I thought he did. In a moonlit moment on her front porch Damon leaned in ever so slowly and kissed her on the cheek as I squealed in sheer delight. EEEE! He wasn't finished there. After pulling away, the sexy, sullen vamp slowly leaned in for his lips to touch hers and she didn't hesitate a bit. She let him kiss her. A kiss from Damon Salvatore = HOT! Hotter than Hades HOT. She took him in like she had been waiting a hundred years. And, folks, that's exactly why it appeared that way. This wasn't Elena. SHOCKER! It was her lookalike, bitch vamp Katherine. The one who stole the hearts and human lives of the Salvatore brothers a century or so ago! Was anyone expecting this?! Did anyone see it coming?! NO! And that, my friends, is why this ending was so effing good. WATCH IT HERE. Now please.

I can't help but wonder, did Damon know he was smooching Katherine? Was that look of wonderment on his face because he couldn't believe he was right about Elena's more-than-friends feelings for him? Or was the look of surprise because he considered the brunette beauty might be Katherine? It looked like he was considering the idea, but then thought no, it couldn't be. Or could it, Damon? 

After posing as Elena to swap spit with Damon, Katherine went inside to kill John. Little did she know (or anyone knew, for that matter), Elena's brother, Jeremey, was upstairs committing suicide/turning himself into a bloodsucker via his recetly deceased good vamp girlfriend's blood, which she gave to him in a vial before she was staked and then burned in the vampire massacre. Note to the clueless: Uncle John/daddy John was the leader of said massacre and the asshole who staked Jeremy's teenage vampire lover. This is his second teenage vampire lover. The first was also staked. Unfortunately, I'm not kidding.

 Damon, while you're pondering the possibility of having just shared a hot and heavy lip smack with Katherine, do us all a favor. Save the Gilbert family from more tragedy. Fly on upstairs and pump the pain killers out of Jeremy's tummy before he dies, wakes up a vamp and feeds off of Uncle John's rotting body in the kitchen. Eww. 

I need to re-watch the final scenes. Was Katherine the girl professing her love for Stefan before locking lips with Damon? Or was that actually Elena? Folks, I think it was (OMG) Katherine! Could she have fooled both brothers in record time and laid a wet one on BOTH their sexy lips?! Elena be damned (pun INTENDED!)!

I apologize for not giving this show enough credit. I'm covered in goosebumps. I'll dream of kissing Damon Salvatore tonight. (Boone swoon!) What am I going to do all summer?! Oh, season finales! Oh, the agony! Oh, wait. Oh, yes. True Blood. ONE MONTH FROM TODAY, fang bangers!

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