I think we're at our best by the flicker by the light of the TV set.

Monday, May 17, 2010

GG Can Suck It

What is JDear Mr. Schwartz,

I would like to take a moment to tell you we're through. Your season finale of Gossip Girl last night left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. I cannot believe the cruel way you made our beloved characters act out. Seriously? 

How dare you turn Chuck Bass into such a monster. He should have waited a few extra minutes for Blair. He definitely should NOT have so quickly turned to booze and deflowered Jenny Humphrey. Don't even get me started on that mess. First everyone hates her. She's ruining relationships, everyone's scared of her, says she's on a path of self destruction. Then she lets Chuck take her virginity because she's lonely. Afterward, everyone feels sorry for her. Suddenly she's a saint?! I think not. She starts sobbing (because she's an idiot and probably only let Chuck take advantage of her so she would ruin yet another relationship between two very compatible, in-love people) and everyone forgives her? Ugh, Jenny Humphrey, I hate you! And I hate your hair! And your makeup! And your clothes! And your attitude! UGH!
Last Tango, Then Paris Photo Chuck would never have given up on Blair so quickly. Deep down he knew she would show up. He knew it! Stop trying to make us think he didn't! Let's be serious. Now that Blair knows what Chuck did with Jenny, they should never be together, but thus Gossip Girl fans would have nothing to look forward to. Which is why Chuck and Blair will eventually get back together. You know what, Mr.Schwartz? I won't be around to see that bullcrap happen. Like I said, we're through.

Now let's discuss Serena and Dan and Nate. Fine. I can deal with Dan still having the hots for the sexy blond drag queen. But he seemed really into Vanessa not too long ago. Apparently not. You've moved things around too quickly. Serena cheats on Nate with Dan - just a kiss, a bottle of wine and a sleepover in Dan's bed - and goes running straight to Nate to explain nothing happened. Nate accepts this load of horse shit (because apparently he's a pathetic sap who doesn't know what's good for him) and they agree to go back to the way things used to be. My problem with this: THINGS HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD BETWEEN THEM SINCE THEY GOT TOGETHER. My second issue: THEY SHOULD BE PERFECT. Like Blair told Jenny, they're MYTHIC:

But you effed it all up, Schwartz. Just like that Serena breaks up with Nate and is totally happy running away to Paris for the summer. Yeah, sure. In all fairness, Nate's better off without her because he seems to be a decent person who just so happens to be effing beautiful. But you went and ruined him, too. There he sits surrounded by ho's in skimpy lingerie. PUH-LEASE.

Meanwhile, stupid Dan Humphrey is researching AirFrance tickets. Why? So he can chase his STEP-SISTER to Paris to beg her to be his girlfriend? All this before explaining anything to Vanessa (who is apparently in Haiti?)?! But, wait! Dan isn't going ANYWHERE because here comes Georgina Sparks and guess what she's carrying?! DAN'S BABY. Barf.

The only regular who hasn't been turned into a monster is Blair. Instead, she suffers from love sickness, a broken heart. How could you do that to her, Schwartz? HOW?!
And with that I say so long, Upper East Siders. It was fun while it lasted.


J from the B

No comments:

Post a Comment