I think we're at our best by the flicker by the light of the TV set.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Nate Berkus Brings Happiness to Middle-Aged, Menopausal Women

When I took my mom to see Paul McCartney in concert last summer, she screamed incessantly, jumping up and down, threatening to commit Beatlemania suicide on the steps of Fenway Park while crying like a baby. I expected such obnoxious behavior.

In February I brought my mom to a Bon Jovi concert where I witnessed her hooting and hollering nonsense about Jon Bon Jovi's hot ass. While I held onto my mother for fear she would suffer death by Bon Jovi, falling down the steep steps in the Mohegan Sun arena, I fanned my aunt, who accompanied us, as she suffered an intense hot-flash much thanks to Bon Jovi's tight pants and aforementioned hot ass. Again, I was prepared for such behavior.

This week my mom and I traveled to New York to sit in the audience at The Nate Berkus Show. Somehow, despite our late arrival and to our pleasant surprise, we were seated front and center. When Nate ran out from behind the stage as the show began taping, my mom clapped her hands like a mad woman trying to bring Tinkerbell back to life while bouncing around, yelling "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAH!!!! YEEEEAAAAAAAY!!!" until her voice ran hoarse. I was NOT expecting this.

In case you are unaware, Nate Berkus is Oprah's most recent protege to make it to the big time. After years spent as a a recurring guest on her show, the master interior designer/decorator now hosts his own daytime talk show - expertly titled The Nate Berkus Show.

Nate's demographic consists 99.9% of women ages 50 and older - middle-aged and menopausal. (These are not official statistics. However, I guarantee my estimate is accurate.) Women LOVE him. Can you blame them? What's not to love? Nate is smart, charming and nicer than any guy you've ever met. He's generous and sweet and he can make any area of your home look like a million bucks! He proves to be every (middle-aged, menopausal) woman's dream guy.

My mom has been sweet on Nate Berkus since his early days on Oprah. In her eyes Nate is absolutely, irresistibly, gotta-pinch-his-cheeks adorable. She approves of every design strategy he shares, every flea market purchase he makes, every dimpled smile he flashes into the camera. She couldn't be more pleased to watch him for a full hour every day. She even has the family DVR set to record every new episode of his show so she won't miss a second of Nate.

The show hadn't even been on air for a week when she begged me to sign us up for tickets. Luckily, with the show being so new, scoring a pair of tickets was simple. When I shared the news with my mom that we would be guests in the audience she smiled from ear to ear and yelled "I love Nate Berkus!" She then proceeded to share the news with everyone she knows and spent hours choosing her outfit. Nate's people urged us to look our best: "DRESS TO IMPRESS! NATE LOVES BRIGHT COLORS - SO WEAR YOUR BEST AND BRIGHTEST - We all know that Nate has great style and we expect the same from you! Think Chic!" These directions sent her into a bit of a tizzy, but she looked fabulous come showtime. You wouldn't believe the power this little guy has over these women. There wasn't a single person wearing dark colors in that audience. It was brighter than a display of fireworks on the Fourth of July.

(Side note: My mom also pleaded with me to email Nate in regards to her mess of an outdated bathroom that she would very much like Nate to re-do. Nate, if you're reading this, please make a lady's dream come true, come to Colchester, and fix her bathroom. We'll be waiting to hear from you.)

Unfortunately, there were no special guests on Nate's show the day we went. No one famous sat before us - just Nate. There also weren't any gift giveaways. However, our front row seats made up for lack of excitement on the show. Making eye contact with Nate Berkus satisfied my mother in ways I can't express. It's nice to know someone can so easily and gratefully appreciate the simpler things in life. It's one of the most admirable qualities my mother possesses, even if it means she's in love with a gay man best known for upholstering chairs. Love you, Mom.

1 comment:

  1. I love you too, Jenny. AND I love Nate Berkus!!!