Monday, September 13th - GG season four premiere day - arrived and I withheld. At 9pm I was watching Nadal win the US Open. Ha! Eat that, Josh Schwartz! I was so proud of myself. I felt liberated! Anew!
Tuesday arrived and I started to feel anxious.
The feeling didn't disintegrate come Wednesday. I wanted to know if Georgina's baby was really Dan's. I wanted to see for myself that Chuck was alive and healthy. I wanted to marvel at Serena's and Blair's incredible French wardrobes and Nate Archibald's baby blues. DAMN YOU, JOSH SCHWARTZ!
On Thursday I gave in. Not only did I give in - like you all ultimately knew I would - but I PURCHASED the damn episode off of iTunes for a whopping $2.99! WHY, JOSH SCHWARTZ? WHY?!
After watching I feel ultimately ashamed, but refreshed. I am disappointed in myself to no avail, but I have no regrets. In fact, I feel like refusing to watch the show was like I was attempting to deny who I am. After watching the premiere that I almost missed, I feel like my old self. This is good because I just transformed my appearance quite drastically and for a few days have felt slightly more lost than usual. Catching glimpses of my new look in mirrors has downright terrified me. Watching Gossip Girl (like I did before I was this alias of Jenny from the Blog) reminded me that I am still the same GaGa obsessed, Eric Northman loving TV fanatic that I was before the change. See, I can justify this.
The premiere episode left me rolling my eyes right out of my head. No surprise there. Most of it was outrageous and so far from reality that I thought I might throw up. Thankfully, Jenny Humphrey is MIA. Let's keep it that way, Mr. Schwartz. I felt cleaner watching the show without her on it. Sorry, little J, but ya gross. Dan's storyline is ridiculous. Nate definitely picked up an STD this summer. Don't you dare try and tell me different. Serena makes me wanna vomit. The only character I love is Blair.
Good ol' Blair Waldorf. The poor thing is suffering so much. She can't stop. She doesn't know what to do, how to get past this, how to get over Chuck Bass. Maybe I'm overly emotional. Maybe I sympathize with her thanks to personal experiences. Regardless, the scene in which she broke down and confessed her weakness made tears spill from my eyes like a broken levee. Kudos to Leighton Meester's acting in the following clip. Kudos to her ability to convey such a convincing broken heart. I hurt just looking at her...
Despite my shame, my embarrassment, my urge to move on...I'll see you next Monday, Gossip Girl. Damn you, Josh Schwartz!