I think we're at our best by the flicker by the light of the TV set.

Monday, April 5, 2010


I've just destroyed two hours of extremely entertaining television.

What's one of the current headlines on Yahoo! News? "Blogojevich fired from 'Celebrity Apprentice'." Thus, my day has officially been ruined.

It's the curse of reality competition shows. Everyone watches them. Everyone's talking about them. So if you don't watch them live, you might as well not get involved. Immense frustration awaits you if this is the path you choose to take.

I knew I should have stayed up 'til the wee hours of the morning watching my DVR'd episodes of 'Amazing Race' and 'Apprentice'. The reason I DVR'd them? Opening day at Fenway Park. Sox vs. Yanks. Had to watch it. But in watching the Sox DEFEAT the Yanks (and Neil Diamond singing 'Sweet Caroline' LIVE) I was taking a serious risk. This morning I forgot. Forgot that yesterday was Sunday. Forgot that I watched neither of my two favorite television programs. Two television programs that should be watched live or else you take that risk of finding out who got kicked off or fired before you find the time to get comfy on the couch and press play. Dammit all!

Now I know who who got fired. So I know the men's team lost. So everything in the first 90 minutes leading up to the final scene in the boardroom is going to be a total waste of time! Now I'll watch it KNOWING how it ends. That's like reading the last page of a book before you start it. I HATE people who do that. I don't understand how anyone could do that. How can you possibly enjoy a book if you know how it ends?! Dammit!

'Celeb Apprentice' is one of the best reality shows to watch live. Each week is like a mini movie. Do I mind that it takes up two hours of my Sunday night? Hell no. Watching these C-list celebs run around New York City as Donald Trump's minions is brilliant television. And whoever cast Cyndi Lauper is genius.

The outcome of last night's ruined episode is not a surprise. Let's be serious. Blagojevich was not going to win. He can't type. He speaks only politician lingo - he never says what he really means, just walks in circles with his words. Spit it out, Blago! And his hair is always in his eyes. It was fun while it lasted, but alas, an actual celebrity will win this season of 'CELEBRITY Apprentice'. Go figure.

For now, I'm turning my computer off. I'm staying away from the television until I have enough time to spare. Twitter? No, thanks. Not today. If I happen to overhear you talking about either show, I'll run the other way. I've ruined 'Apprentice'. No need to ruin 'Race', too.

While I wallow my day away and curse my carelessness, at least there's one positive aspect to this disgrace. My fave lunatic celeb, Cyndi Lauper, is still hanging in there. God bless her.

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