I think we're at our best by the flicker by the light of the TV set.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

EW's Sexy Beast Contest Rocks My World

Entertainment Weekly is my savior. Leave it to them to heat up my lackluster summer of entertainment with a Sexy Beast Contest. Thank you, EW, from the bottom of my heart.

For the past few weeks the magazine has been asking fans to help determine who is the sexiest beast of all time. The contest started with a bracket of 64 contenders which included everyone from Eric Northman to Wolverine. The list is made up of vampires, monsters, aliens, machines and mutants (see full list below). Every couple of days, fans were asked to vote on a new match-up of beasts.  Then a few unlucky candidates would be scratched off the list.

We are now in the finals and I'm sad to say Eric Northman is not among them. It is, however, between two vamps: Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) of The Vampire Diaries and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson, as if you didn't know) of The Twilight Saga. Shocker.

Last night when voting began it was an instant tie. Damon and Edward each had 50%. Earlier today, Edward was in the lead. As of 2:30 this afternoon Damon Salvatore stole first place by 2%. I'd like to think I am solely responsible for this sudden change. I voted for Damon maybe 50 times this morning. It's my day off and the sun isn't shining. What else would I be doing?

In my expert opinion, Edward Cullen is not sexy. Robert Pattinson is sexy, but Edward is not and since this isn't a competition between Rob and Ian, Edward should lose. He's a wussy teenage emo vampire who sparkles in the sun. He's got no wit, no pizazz. He doesn't even have washboard abs. What part of that is sexy?

Damon Salvatore, on the other hand, is sexy as hell (as is Ian Somerhalder for the record). Damon is a mysterious badass vamp who burns in the sun, teases viewers with his washboard abs and sultry stare and literally makes me drool. Damon's blue eyes and leather jacket and defined cheek bones are mesmerizing. He's not Eric Northman, but he's a close second. VOTE FOR DAMON.

Naturally, I'm against the entire thing ever since Mr. Northman was eliminated. It should come as no surprise to my readers (all four of you) that I believe Eric should have won this competition hands down. I don't need a competition to tell me he's the sexiest beast to ever enter the pop culture universe. Most True Blood fans - both female and male - would agree.

EW readers feel similarly. Here are some of my favorite comments posted below the current poll between Edward and Damon:
  • Huh, Vampire Diaries and Twilight. And this is why these showdowns are a complete joke…A.Skars was robbed.
  • Skarsgard all the way, who the hell voted him out?!
  • Robbed! Darn all these non-HBO/True Blood watching, EW voting people. Damon beating Eric is just wrong. I mean the man looks sexy with foil highlighting wraps in his hair, dripping in blood, fangs bared. I like my vamps to be men not boys.
  • A-Skars, Me, and Damon sandwich. *sigh*
Glad to know I'm not alone in the world. Whoever posted the comment about the last comment listed above should be my best friend.

Here's a complete list of the sexy beasts:

1. Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard), True Blood
2. Angel (David Boreanaz), Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
4. Jessica Hamby (Deborah Ann Woll), True Blood
5. Darla (Julie Benz), Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
6. Mick St. John (Alex O’Loughlin), Moonlight
7. Spike (James Marsters), Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
8. Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer), True Blood
9. Alcide (Joe Manganiello), True Blood
10. The Man in Black/Smokey (Titus Welliver), Lost
11. Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley), The Vampire Diaries
12. Illyria (Amy Acker), Angel
13. Drusilla (Juliet Landau), Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
14. Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell), True Blood
15. Vincent (Ron Perlman), Beauty and the Beast
16. Julian Luna (Mark Frankel), Kindred: The Embraced
1. Number Six (Tricia Helfer), Battlestar Galactica
2. Seven of Nine (Jeri Ryan), Star Trek: Voyager
3. Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), Avatar
4. Spock (Zachary Quinto), Star Trek
5. The Tenth Doctor (David Tennant), Doctor Who
6. Leeloo (Milla Jovovich), The Fifth Element
7. Cameron (Summer Glau), Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
8. Boomer/Athena (Grace Park), Battlestar Galactica
9. Anna (Morena Baccarin), V
10. T-X (Kristanna Loken), Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
11. Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), GrindhousePlanet Terror
12. Wikus van de Merwe (Sharlto Copley), District 9
13. Lieutenant Worf (Michael Dorn), Star Trek: The Next Generation
14. Turanga Leela (Katey Sagal), Futurama
15. Martian Girl (Lisa Marie), Mars Attacks!
16. Three-Breasted Mutant Prostitute (Lycia Naff), Total Recall
1. Storm (Halle Berry), X-Men
2. Logan/Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), X-Men
3. Mathayus (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), The Mummy Returns
4. Sil (Natasha Henstrige), Species
5. Grendel’s Mother (Angelina Jolie), Beowulf
6. The Beast (Robby Benson), Beauty and the Beast
7. Deadpool/Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds), X-Men Origins: Wolverine
8. Mystique (Rebecca Romijn), X-Men
9. Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), X-Men
10. Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), Watchmen
11. Kyle (Alex Pettyfer), Beastly
12. Ms. Pac-Man
13. Dren (Delphine Chaneac), Splice
14. Cole Turner/Belthazor (Julian McMahon), Charmed
15. Scott Summers/Cyclops (James Marsden), X-Men
16. Madison (Daryl Hannah), Splash
2. Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse
3. Louis de Pointe du Lac (Brad Pitt), Interview with the Vampire
4. Selene (Kate Beckinsale), Underworld
5. Satanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), From Dusk Till Dawn
6. Blade (Wesley Snipes), Blade
7. Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman), Underworld
8. Emmett Cullen (Kellan Lutz), Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse
9. James (Cam Gigandet), Twilight
10. Remus Lupin (David Thewlis), Harry Potter (various)
11. Armand (Antonio Banderas), Interview with the Vampire
12. Miriam Blaylock (Catherine Deneuve), The Hunger
13. Queen Akasha (Aaliyah), Queen of the Damned
14. Lestat de Lioncourt (Tom Cruise), Interview with the Vampire
15. Lawrence Talbot (Benicio del Toro), Wolfman
16. David (Kiefer Sutherland), The Lost Boys


No comments:

Post a Comment