What We Talk About At Work

This morning I worked with a giggling, Hello Kitty loving, boy crazy boy whom I don't often have the unique pleasure of working with. He was in rare form as he usually works the evening shift. Mornings are not his forte.

As we sat across the room from each other busily prepping for a hectic day, he said, "So this morning I was listening to Ke$ha..."

I shot an evil glare of disgust in his direction. "I hate Ke$ha," I flatly stated. He knows this. We often fight about Ke$ha. I think he enjoys bringing her into conversations. My distaste for the trash-tastic pop "singer" makes him giggle.

"Aaaaaaahahahahahihihihihihihihehehehehahahahahahehehehehehihihaha... I know you do! But anyway? This song..."

I continued to glare. I was borderline snarling. Eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, mouth turned down. This didn't stop him.

"So she has this song, ok? Called 'Stephen'..."

I heard him wrong. Perhaps it was the distance from my desk to his. Perhaps it was the elevator music in the background. Perhaps it was my lack of sleep, lack of caffeine and dark thoughts about Ke$ha clogging my mind. I cut him off mid-sentence.

'Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're telling me Ke$ha has a song. On her album. Called 'SEMEN'?"

I was appalled because I'm a nice girl from a small town who is expected to be appalled at such examples of inappropriateness. In retrospect, I would not be surprised if this were true. Why wouldn't Ke$ha sing about semen?

It's not every day your usually sweet co-worker shouts "SEMEN!" at you. A very stunned boy crazy boy kindly corrected me before bursting into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. The phone rang and we went back to work and I never learned why he brought up a song called "Stephen" by Ke$ha.

I was considering posting Ke$ha's "Stephen" below, but I can't. It sucks. Taylor Swift's "Hey Stephen" is a hundred thousand million times better, so I'm posting that instead.